Colum Sunday – 4 ways “social” media is creating a hard time for friendships

It is Sunday which means that I express my thoughts on a matter that came up in my head and of which I think I have enough opinion on to write a full blog post.

This Sunday I want to serve you the impact of social media in my friendships. Now really, social media has a huge impact, not just on friendships but on the way messages and news are spreading, the speed, the width of audience, how much of our time is wasted that we could spend on much better things, it certainly costs less than a therapist and it is a great way to advertise yourself (follow me on Twitter by the way: @joysophiablog ) 😉 .


1. Hanging out with friends, before and after social media

I remember when hanging out with friends was actually doing something, talking and laughing instead of a silent business meeting to silently advertise yourself amongst your friends that it often is today.

The only proof I have now that things can and have been different are movies set in the 1700’s and early 1800’s in which phones were not created yet (phones were successfully created in 10th of March, 1876 by Alexander Graham Bell, for those who are interested).

When I hang out at a coffee place with friends in Sweden within 3 minutes after the food has arrived, everyone will start taking pictures of their food (thanks foodie and Instagram junkie in our midst) and consequently everyone will check their twitter, email, Facebook, tumblr and Instagram.

There’s nothing we can do about it except for leaving our phone at home. But I notice many kids (yes, me too sometimes) that feel the urge to always be online and alive (not necessarily the breathing kind of alive, but tweeting-to-show-you-are-alive alive).

If this situation ever happened to you then you must have had these thoughts: “100.000 followers, [name of friend] could never have that.”

*checks said friend’s social media page*.

*stalks said friend to see what he/she has done that you didn’t do that got her said 100.000 followers, while bragging and questioning this number of followers with others*.73a662947f55e0c37b894604068fc4c3

via: 9gag

2. New spontaneous real life friendship block

There might be a person sitting in the train from Ostermalmstorg to Karlaplan (metro stops in Stockholm), maybe you guys were supposed to become good friends and that train was supposed to be your ticket to friendship.

You sit next to each other, the person is reading a book (a good conversation starter), but no, you (and I) crawl in our phones to not seem awkward.

If you live in Stockholm you know what I am talking about. You can hear a needle drop in Swedish trains.The reason is is because Swedes in Stockholm never talk in the train unless you know someone. If you do not know anyone, grab your phone and pretend like you are talking to someone on your phone (messaging, not calling off course).


3. Social media, creating rough moments in friendship since 1971 (first email)

If anyone has seen @summerbreak (read about it here in my top 6 favourite internet things), you know that a lot of the drama caused within the friendship group is caused by a concept called subtweets. Subtweeting is the act of commenting on someone or talking about someone without mentioning their name. Example: can’t stand when you talk to me about pizza.
Most times subtweets are meaner, but you get the concept of it.

Subtweeting has given teens (and some vicious elderly) the chance to gossip and bring out the meanest in themselves, without anyone being completely sure if it’s about them or not (unless the subtweeter told them).
Being in a state of doubt can cause said teen with raging hormones create scenes in their head on why the subtweeted subtweeted the subtweet on them and by that causing the friendship to dissolve into tiny pixels.


4. Social media, the spyware of the unofficial spies.

Basically any girl. Every girl with a social media account has done intense research on someone whether they admit is or not.
Also, most messaging platforms allow us to see when someone read your message, and if they are therefore ignoring you because see the paragraph before (STOP SUBTWEETING EVERYBODY!)



Yet truth is. Social media is our life now, and honestly I love it. Because it provides us with new opportunities that people in my 1800’s movies didn’t have. A lot of the news that we see today has been first posted on social media and climbed it’s way to the breaking news page of news sites and many people make new friendships on social media and live their dreams.

Yet we should be cautious.

What do you think about social media and it’s impact on friendships?
Comment below, or tweet me at @joysophiablog , email me at and share, like and follow.

See you next time:
Curious Joy

Featured image via here, edited by Joy Sophia.


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